I Met a Toad

I  met a toad once.

I met a toad twice.

It was the self-same toad

so in an effort to be nice

i said "how do you do?

do you come here a lot"?

he said "bugger off son,

you're standing in my plot"

i said "what kind of plot

riles so much this toad's emotions"?

he said "it's world domination,

and i'm putting it in motion".

i said "so there's nothing i can do

to make you see some sense"?

he said "God has made me ugly

and i'm seeking recompense"

i said "and how do you plan to do it,

to get what you desire"?

he said "i'll get a girl to kiss me,

then burst in raging fire!

Then i'll lead you from this Sodom,

and trick you to look back,

and you'll all turn into piles of salt,

from butterflies to yaks"!

i said "that's an evil streak you've got,

but now your plans are foiled -

you've let your little secret out,

and now your scheme's been spoiled".